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25 xmas ideas to torture your room mate

Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloddy murder and trash on the floor.
Go to the mall with your roomate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
Hang mistle-toe in the doorway. When your roomate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
Hang a stocking with your roomates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."
Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (I.E. "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistle-toe last night.")
Wrap yourself in Christmas more...

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Three Men on a Trip

Fred, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."

At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.

At the 51st floor, Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.

"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"

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What song do burgers sing on the

What song do burgers sing on the job? Gristle While You Work!

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Stop the Music!!!

A high school teacher had become very annoyed. Very few of his students paid attention to him during class. This wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that they were always brought in their iPods and cd players and pretended like they weren't in school. The teacher was fed up with scolding his students, assigning detentions, and confiscating the music devices. One day, he came up with, what he thought to be, a wonderful solution.
In the morning after all of the students filed in and sat down, and after the teacher walked around plucking headphones off of them, he called their attention.
"Class," he said with a pretentious smirk on his face, "I've noticed that you all love music so much. I'm sure that I would enjoy hearing that which holds your attention all day, it must be fantastic. So from now on, when I catch someone listening to a music device, as a punishment, he or she will have to stand in front of the class and sing whatever they're listening to. And more...

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The Christmas parrot

A man goes into a pet store to buy his wife a gift. He asks the clerk for something special. The clerk walks over to the bird section. "This is Ches. He was trained to sing Christmas carols. Watch."
The clerk lights a match and puts it under one of Ches' feet. The parrot immediately starts to sing' Jingle Bells'.
"Why that's amazing!", exclaims the guy.
The clerk lights another match, and puts it under the other foot. This time the parrot starts singing' Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.'
By this time the man is sold on the parrot, and so he pays the clerk and takes the parrot home to his wife. He lights a match and demonstrates Ches' unique ability. The guy then lights a second match and does the same thing. The wife and the guy enjoy the evening with their new pet.
A couple of days later, the wife asks the man, "What would happen if you put a match between his feet?"
The guy shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Ches, lights more...

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