Sing Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing 'Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"
"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.
"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing 'Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.
"YES SIR!!" replies the seaman. He sprints for the more...

The Teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas.

She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.

Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?" Ms. Jones asked.

"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents, " Jimmy replied.

"That's also very nice more...

This man shows up at his doctor's office to get patched up. He has obviously been severely beaten about the head and shoulders. His doctor tapes him up and asks him, "What in the hell happened to you?"
"You won't believe this doc, it happened in church."
"In church? How?"
"The minister told us all to stand and sing hymn 317. When we stood up, I noticed the woman standing in front of me had her dress pushed up her butt. So I reached forward and pulled it out. She beat the crap out of me with her umbrella."
Several weeks later, the man shows up at his doctor, all beaten up again. Again the doctor patches him up and asks him about what happened.
"It happened in the same church."
"Again?"
"Yes. The minister told us to all stand and sing hymn 317. When we stood up, the same woman was in front of me, with her dress up her butt. The woman standing next to her noticed that and pulled it out. I knew more...

This fellow was walking down the street, when he met his buddy.
His buddy had two black eyes, so he said to him, "How did you get
those two black eyes?"
"Well, we were in church Sunday, and when we stood up to sing a
hymn, the lady in front of me had her dress stuck up in her buns.
So, being the gentleman I am, I reached down, and pulled the
dress free. She turned around, and hit me between the eyes," he
replied.
His friend said, "You mean to tell me that woman hit you so hard
it blacked both eyes?"
"No, said his friend, but when we stood back up to sing another
hymn, I tucked it back up in there for her."

Looking for a new pet for his wife, a man entered a pet store and asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesman took the man to a parrot at the back of the store.
"This is the perfect pet for your wife," the salesman said. "Chet is a very special creature."
"What makes him so special?" the man asked.
"Watch," said the salesman, as he took a lighter from his pocket and held it under Chet's right foot. Chet immediately began to sing "Deck the halls... " Then, the salesman held the lighter under Chet's left foot and Chet started to sing "Jingle Bells, jingle bells... "
The man was so impressed with Chet that he bought him and hurried home to his wife.
"Look what I bought for you, honey," he said. "This is Chet and he's a very special parrot."
"What makes him so special?" asked the wife.
"Watch," replied the man, as he took a lighter out of his pocket and more...

One Sunday a minister announced that he had laryngitis and wouldn't be able to preach that day, but what he would do instead was say a few words and the congregation would then sing the first hymn that came to mind.
"Jesus," the minister whispered.
Within moments the congregation started singing, "Jesus Loves Me."
"God," whispered the minister.
The congregation started to sing, "How Great Thou Art."
"Roses," the minister whispered.
This prompted the congregation to start singing, "In The Garden."
This one-word, one-hymn game continued for a few more minutes until the minister whispered, "Sex."
The congregation fell deathly silent. Many of the parishioners began looking around to see the reaction of others to the minister's last word. Everyone remained silent, until one brave soul, an elderly woman sitting in the back, cleared her throat and began to sing as loud as she could... more...

A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, "Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are
going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out, "Grace."
The congregation began to sing, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The Pastor said, "Power."
The congregation sang, "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said, "Sex."
The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.
Suddenly, from the back of the church, a frail little 87 year-old grandmother stood up and, in a tiny quavering voice, began to
sing, more...