Singer Jokes / Recent Jokes

Who is the bees favourite singer?
Sting!

Musician Jokes - In Score Order
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
What's the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants?
Nothing. Both give you a warm feeling but no one else cares.
What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on the trampoline.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
Why do clarinetists leave their cases on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped zones.
What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, more...

There were three men who worked in this resteraunt. One man was a singer who can only say "MI MI MI". The second man can only say "GOODI GOOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI." The third man was a French chef and the only words he can say in English are "CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP".
One day, a police offcer comes into the restaurant and tells the three men that there has been a murder in this town and asked if any of them committed the murder.
The singer says "MI MI MI", then the police officer asked how he did it, to which the second man replied, "CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP"
Then the shocked officer said "You know your going to jail for this, and the other man said "GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI!"

Singer Chris Brown was sentenced today to 5 years probation and 1400 hours "Labored Community Service" The singer was excited about the community service until his lawyer explained that "No driving around and beating up Prostitutes does not fall into what the judge was thinking as a community service"