Singh Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident"
Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married. When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

BANTA SINGH, a Punjabi cobbler, found a job in a leather factory in England. It had all the modern gadgetry which got Banta very baffled. When it came to a massive machine, the supervisor explained to him: "This is the latest in leather technology. We put a buffalo in at one end and ready-made shoes come out of the other."
Not to be outdone, Banta Singh replied, "We in India have a better machine. We put in old shoes at one end and get a live buffalo out of the other."
"That's wonderful! exclaimed the English supervisor, "What happens to the laces?"
"They come out as the buffalo's tail."

One day santa singh goes to a bank for cash withdrawal.
The cashier is a gujarati lady with a typical gujarati accent.
When santa's token no. Is announced, he goes to the cash counter.

The lady cashier asks him in hindi, "mr. Singh, so so ke loge?"

Santa replies, "khade khade bhi chalega!"

Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my
face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth
and I thought I just paid Rs. 1, 000 to get my teeth
straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this
is going
to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my
other ear
before I pulled the trigger.

One Day Santa Singh Went To See Jurassic Park In A Movie Hall And Every Time The Dinosaurs Went Hunting He Used To Hide Under His Seat.
Seeing This The Man Sitting Next To Him Said "Don't Feel Scared Its Just A Movie" To This Santa Singh Replied "I Know It Is A Movie But The Dinosaurs Don't Know It".

There is an anecdote to illustrate the difference between illusion and reality of living abroad. Sardar Santa Singh arrived at the gates of paradise and what he saw pleased him immensely: people riding large limousines, casino, night clubs, preety girls in bikinis and liquor bars. When presented before God he expressed his delight to be there. God looked up his record and said "Santa, there has been a terrible mistake. You are not due here till four years later. You go back to earth and we will send for you on the right time."
Santa Singh went back. He looked forward to returning to paradise. When he finally died and appeared at the pearly gates, the sight that met his eyes was different: men sweeping gardens, cutting wood and doing back-breaking jobs. Women scrubbing floors, cooking, washing dishes and soiled garments.
"This is not the paradise you showed me last time," he protested to God.
"Last time you came on a tourist visa," replied more...

Once Santa Singh Entered A Cybercafe To Check His Mails. It Was Crowded So He Had To Wait. As He Waited He Saw A Man Checking His Mails. He Stood Behind Him And Watched. The Man Typed His Password And Was Waiting When Santa Singh Cried Out'Yes Yes I Know Your Password. I Can Read Your Mails Now.
"Surprised The Man Asked "Oh Yeah, Tell Me What Is It".
Santa Singh Replied " Five Stars."