Singh Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, "OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Santa's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Santa says.
"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes, I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Santa, what a surprise, more...
Beppo Singh Queuing Behind His Friend At An Atm Machine. Friend: What Are You Looking At? Beppo Singh: I Know Your Pin No., Hee, Hee. Friend: Alright, What Is My Pin No. If You Saw It? Beppo Singh: Four Asterisks!
Banta Singh had a bitter quarrel with his wife. In his anger he prayed loudly "Hey Bhagwan! mujhey uttha ley - Lord take me away from this world."
Mrs. Banta Singh retaliated: "Hey Bhagwan! mujhey uttha ley."
Banta Singh quickly amended his prayer: "Hey Bhagwan! tu iskee sun lay- O Lord, grant her prayer."
The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.'
Banta and Santa buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing. Says Banta, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Santa Singh replies, "I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse. But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day
Banta Singh is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, had broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Santa and Banta were frustrated.
At last Banta says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA"
Once santa singh was passing through a garden in a hurry, then the gardener asked him, "why are you tresspassing". santa replied,"i'm not trespa singh. i'm santa singh.
MY friend Onkar Singh who returned from Ahmedabad last week posed a question which I could not answer. "How is it that in Gujarat where every man is a bhai and every woman a ben and population keeps on increasing?
J. P. Singh Kaka has drawn my attention to the same kind of confusion that exists in the minds of some people. A bachelor on the look-out for a wife was advised by a friend to put in an ad in the matrimonial columns. He took the advice. A few weeks later his friends asked him if he had any luck. "Yes," replied the bachelor and added naively, "kaee bahnon kay to khat bhee aaye hain-many sisters have written to me."