Sir Jokes / Recent Jokes
Before he went off to the wars, King Arthur locked his lovely wife, Guinevere, into her chastity belt. Then he summoned his loyal friend and subject, Sir Lancelot.
"Lancelot, noble knight," said Arthur, "within this sturdy belt is imprisoned the virtue of my wife. The key to this chaste treasure I will entrust to only one man in the world. To you."
Humbled before this great honor, Lancelot knelt, received his king's blessing and took charge of the key. Arthur mounted his steed and rode off. Not half a mile from his castle, he heard hoofbeats behind him and turned to see Sir Lancelot riding hard to catch up with him. "What is amiss, my friend?" asked the king.
"My lord," gasped Lancelot, "you have given me the wrong key!"
Santa calls a call center of air sahara to know the journey time of delhi to bombay. When his call gets connected, he asks "sir, how much time will your plane take from delhi to bombay? Officer says "just a minute sir' santa says thankyou very much and disconnects the call.
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
AMDA: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
AMDA: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: AMDON, go to the map and find North America.
AMDA: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: AMDON!
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TEACHER: AMDON, how do you spell "crocodile"?
AMDA: "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
AMDA: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER: AMDON, give me a sentence starting with "I".
AMDA: I is...
TEACHER: No, AMDON. Always say, "I am."
AMDA: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: "Can more...
Raghu: Sir, What Is The Date Today? Teacher: Shh! Don't Ask Silly Questions. Finish Your Exam Paper Quickly. Raghu: Sir, But I Want To Write At Least One Thing Correctly On My Paper!
Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with
the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up.
Bush: whats your name
John: john
Bush: whats your question
Johm: sir I have three questions
1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) where is osama
3) why do America support Pakistan so much
Bush: you are an intelligent student john..(just then the bell for
recess rang).
oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?
Peter raises his hand
Bush: Whats your name?
Peter: sir I have 5 questions.
1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO
2) where is more...
A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3. 40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
The ostrich says "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.
"That will be $7. 20" says the bartender.
Once again the man pulls more...
Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a more...