Siren Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was walking on the sidewalk and noticed up ahead that Little Johnny was wearing a red fireman's hat and sitting in a red wagon. It appeared that the wagon was being pulled very slowly by a large German Shepherd. When he got closer to the lad, he noticed that Little Johnny had a rope tied around the dog's testicles, which probably accounted for why the dog was walking so gingerly.
Smiling, he spoke to the little boy, "That's really a nice fire engine you have there, son. But I'll bet the dog would pull you faster if you tied that rope around his neck."
"Yeah, sure" Little Johnny replied, "but then I wouldn't have a siren."

The following is another goodie related to me by my mom years ago. It's another one of those that's just a little too good to be true. Though the veracity may be questionable, it's a great story.
Preface: Policemen, firefighters, etc. used to have annual dinner-dance type affairs (they were referred to as "The Policeman's Ball", etc) to raise money for the local constabulatory. The individual officers were responsible for selling tickets to the event to those on their beat.
And now, the story:
A woman was driving down the road one day only to find herself behind a horse trailer being pulled by a pick-up truck. As they were driving along, the back door of the horse trailer came loose and swung open, exposing the rear end of the horse inside.
Eventually, gastric and bowel processes completed, the horse's tail lifted and - voila - the woman's windshield was covered in horse stuff.
Now the woman's first instinct was, of course, to turn on the windshield more...

A fireman looked out of the firehouse window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. The boy had his little red wagon. He had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat.
He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute, so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had. As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles.
The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to try to tell you how to run your fire company, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."
"Maybe so," said the little boy, "But then I'd lose my siren."

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor. "As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say,' I'm a Sperm.' She will answer,' I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?" The sperm nodded affirmatively.

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm!"

The red sticky ball more...

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yells, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," she yelled back over the sound of the siren, "It's a SCARF!"