Site Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ebonics Crimmus Pome

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' good

We hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our check

All o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey heads

I passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe' spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo sho

And what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis nite

Faster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on' Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to more...

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your more...

The internet site was created to help homeless persons get back on their feet. The Web site also is a venue where visitors can donate money, services and goods to help. The first recipient is described as a heavily bearded man, poorly dressed, un-bathed, and reeking of alcohol. So far $2,578 dollars has been raised for Joaquin Phoenix

This is how you know if you are addicted to the internet:
1) You kiss you girlfriend's home page.
2.) Your bookmarks list takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
3.) Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
4.) You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to Google.
5.) You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
6.) You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
7.) You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your kid in the overhead compartment.
8.) Your dreams are in HTML.
9.) You find yourself typing ".com" after every period when using a word processor.
10.) You turn your computer off and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug of your loved one.
11.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
12.) You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au"
13.) more...

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change." I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up." Nine hands went up." Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man." Too much trouble," came the reply.

If you would like to link your web site to Wocka.com, please freely bookmark or add links to any page contained within this web site provided that this site does not appear inside any frames.

You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster par connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
Your more...