"Ebonics Christmas" joke

Ebonics Crimmus Pome

Wuz de nite befo Crimmus An' all ower de hood ereybody wuz' sleepin' Dey wuz sleepin' good

We hunged up our stockings An hoped like de' heck That ol Sanna Clause Be bringin' our check

All o'de fambily Wuz layin in de beds While Ripple and Thunderbird Dance tru' dey heads

I passed out inna' flo Right nex to my Maw When I heard sech a fuss I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"

I looked out thru de bars What covered my doe' spectin' de sheriff Wif a warrent fo sho

And what did I see I said, "Lawd look at dat!!" Ther' wuz a huge watermellon Pulled by giant warf rats!!

Now ober all de years Santa Clause, he be white But looks liken us bros Gets a black Sanna dis nite

Faster dan a Po'lees car My home boy he came He whupped on dem warf rats An' called dem by name!

On Leroy, on' Lonzo And on Willie Lee On Saphire, on Chenequa Dey wuz a site to see!!

As he landed dat watta' mellon Out der in da skreet I knowed it was fo' sho' Da damndest site I ebber did see

He didn't go down no chimbley He picked da' lock on my doe An' I sez to myself "Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"

He had dis big bag Full of prezents I' xpect Wid Air Jordans and fake gold To wear roun' my neck

But he not leevin no prezents Jus stealing my shit Got my drugs, got my guns Got my crack pipe... still lit!

Wit my stuff in de bag Out da window he flewed I woudda' tried to cut him But he stoled my' nife too!!

He jumped on dat wadda' mellon An' whipped out a switch He wuz gone in a seccon' Dat sum of a bitch!!

Next year I be hopin' Anutha Sanna we git Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!

Murry Crimmus