Skeleton Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold down a deacon over a flame in a test tube"
"When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader"
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more...
A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"
"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."
"How can you know that with such precision?!"
"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old - and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago..."
The champion of champions
One day, some builders are renovating an old building in Jerusalem when Solly, one of the workers, falls through the rotten floor into a previously undiscovered cellar. As the dust settles, Solly sees to his horror a skeleton lying in the corner. The skeleton is wearing a blue and white sash with these words written on it: -
“ALL ISRAEL HIDE-AND-SEEK CHAMPION 1948”
Interpretations of nature from junior high, high school, and college test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers (spelling errors preserved).... "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire." "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water" "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube" "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide" "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars." "Blood flows down one leg and up the other." "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration." "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader." "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull." "Dew is formed on leaves when more...
Q: Why didnt the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? A: Because she had no guts!
What did the Jewish Skeleton say to the fat man?
if you've got my body and you think it's sexy come on baby give it back