Skeleton Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A. He didn't have the guts too
The following are all quotes from an 11 year old's science exams:
1) When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
2) H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
3) To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test
tube.
4) When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
5) Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free
state.
6) Water is composed of 2 gins, Oxygin & Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure
gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
7) Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
8) Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
9) Respiration is composed of 2 acts, first inspiration, and then
expectoration.
10) The moon is a planet just like earth, only it is even deader.
11) Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow
instead
of the bull.
12) Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them more...
Q. Why didnt the skeleton cross the road? A. He didnt have the guts too
Why didnt the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didnt have enough guts
Q: What is a werewolf's favorite type of story?
A: A hairy tale!
Q: Did you hear about the hippie werewolf?
A: He was fur out, man!
Q: What do you call two witches who live together?
A: Brommates!
Q: Did you hear about the obnoxious pumpkin?
A: He was a real jerk-o'-lantern!
Q: What does an Australian witch ride on?
A: A broomerang!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous director?
A: Steven Spellberg!
Q: Where do spooks go to mail a letter?
A: The ghost office.
Q: What did the vampire say to the Invisible Man?
A: "Long time, no see!"
Q: When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you?
A: When you're a mouse!
Q: What happened when the little witch misbehaved?
A: She was sent to her broom.
Q: What do you say to a depressed vampire?
A: "Fang in thre!"
Q: How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A: Try tickling his funny bone!
Q: What more...
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog.
The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, "Hippocrates, come!" Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff.
Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts.
The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, "Sliderule, come!" Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff.
The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of more...