Skeleton Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.
I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

These are reputedly real answers to questions on science tests.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if it's a lady, rub her arm above the hand. Or put her head between the knees of the nearest medical more...

Science definitions from Kids...H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers.Blood flows down one leg and up the other.Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the more...

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: "Waiter, will my pizza be long?"
A: "No sir, it will be round!"

Q: "What is white, has a horn, and gives milk?"
A: A dairy truck!

Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?
A: Sundae School.

Q: How do you make a milk shake?
A: Give it a good scare!

Q: What is a cow's favorite day?
A: Moo-years Day!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts!

Q: Why are graveyards noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin!

Q: Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?
A: Because she broke the record!

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers!

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?
A. Sunday, of more...

Q. Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
A. It had nobody to go with

Why couldnt the skeleton pay his bus fare? Because he was skint.