Skeleton Jokes / Recent Jokes
MASSIVE TUMOUR
In October 1991, surgeons at Stanford University Hospital removed an ovarian tumour weighing over 21 stone from a woman. It was the largest cyst ever detached from a human being. After the operation, the woman weighed 5 stone LESS than the tumour.
BABY CHICKEN
A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room complaining of abdominal pains. During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.
INNER SKELETON
A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from more...
Science definitions from Kids...
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The skeleton more...
A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton that was attacked by a dog?
He ran off with some bones and didn’t leave him with a leg to stand on!
A werewolf joke
Where does the werewolf sit in the cinema?
Anywhere he wants to!
A ghost joke
How do ghosts like their drinks?
Ice ghoul!
A skeleton joke
What’s a skeleton’s favorite pop group?
Boney M!
A vampire joke
Why do vampires like school dinners?
Because they know they won’t get stake!
A skeleton joke
Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?
He was a numbskull!
A werewolf joke
I used to be a werewolf but I’m alright nooooooooooooowwwww!
Q: What is a ghost’s favourite day of the week?
A: Frightday!
Q: Where do Chinese vampires come from?
A: Fanghai!
Q: Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school?
A: He was boning up for his exams!
Q: How do you join the Dracula fan club?
A: Send your name, address and blood group!
Q: What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A: Bonehead!
Q: What does the postman deliver to vampires?
A: Fang mail!
Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long?
A: He became bone dry!
The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!""H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water." "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube." "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide." "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." "There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state." "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars." "Blood flows down one leg and up the other." "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration." The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader." "Dew is more...