Skeleton Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Collection of Lawyer Jokes
An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the more...
A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
A vampire joke
What happened to the vampire who swallowed sheep?
He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
A ghost joke
Who is the most important member of the ghost’s football team?
The ghoulie!
A skeleton joke
What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish?
It came back with a skeleton crew!
A ghost joke
How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?
Terrifried!
A vampire joke
Why do vampires do well at school?
Because everytime they are asked a question they come up with a biting reply!
A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns?
Skint Eastwood!
Science definitions from Kids... H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers. Blood flows down one leg and up the other. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out more...
Q. Why did a skeleton with one hand cross the road?A. To get to the second hand store!
Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
Because his heart wasn't in it.
A vampire joke
What do romantic vampires do?
Neck!
A skeleton joke
What’s a skeleton’s favorite vegetable?
Marrow!
A skeleton joke
What did the old skeleton complain of?
Aching bones!
A vampire joke
What did Dracula say to his new apprentice?
We could do with some new blood around here!
A skeleton joke
What is a skeleton?
Somebody on a diet who forgot to say “when”!
A vampire joke
How does a vampire clean his house?
With a victim cleaner!
A vampire joke
What does a vampire say when you tell him a ghoul joke?
Ghoul blimey!
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!
A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!
A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!
A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!
A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!