Skiing Jokes / Recent Jokes

When you're 47 years old, you sometimes hear a small voice inside you that says: "Just because you've reached middle age, that doesn't mean you shouldn't take on new challenges and seek new adventures. You get only one ride on this crazy carousel we call life, and by golly you should make the most of it."This is the voice of Satan.I know this because recently, on a mountain in Idaho, I listened to this voice, and as a result my body feels as though it has been used as a trampoline by the Budweiser Clydesdales.I am currently on an all-painkiller diet. "I'll have a black coffee and 250 Advil tablets" is a typical breakfast order for me these days.This is because I went snowboarding.For those of you who, for whatever reason, such as a will to live, do not participate in downhill winter sports, I should explain that snowboarding is an activity that is popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.These are of course young people, fearless more...

Special Report from Rooterz Newz Service, Palm Beach, CA
The recent tragic death of Sonny Bono and death of Michael Kennedy in
tree-related skiing accidents has conspiracy theorists abuzz.
The ominous parallels can't be denied:
William Kennedy died after skiing into a tree in Aspen, CO.
Sonny Bono died after skiing into a tree in Lake Tahoe, CA.
An Aspen is a kind of tree.
The word "Tahoe" is Native American for "tree."
Bono was interviewed by MTV VJ "Kennedy" at the last Republican.
Kennedy had a secretary named "Loni"-which rhymes, sort of, with "Sonny."
Kennedy was a socialist who thought everyone (but him) should just "share."
Bono was once married to "Cher."
Kennedy was born into an idolized family yet managed to disgrace himself.
After losing family and career in his divorce with Cher, a disgraced Bono managed to recreate himself honorably and rise to the more...