Skin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!". "I've been circumcised.", the other replied. "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off the end." "How old were you when it was cut off?" "My mom said I was two days old." "Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly. "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

1. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.3. On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.8. The patient refused autopsy.9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.14. She is numb from her toes down.15. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.16. The skin more...

This lady read in a magazine that milk baths are good for your skin. She left a note for the milkman to leave her 15 gallons of milk. The milkman thought she made a mistake. He knocked on the door and asked, "Do you really want 15 gallons of milk?" She explained that they were good for the skin and was going to take a bath in it. The milkman asks, "Do you want it pasturized?" She said, "No, just up to my neck will do!"

A British Man, a French man, and an American man are on a safari in Africa, and they are taken prisoner by a savage group of villagers. As they're being brought to the village, they are told that death was their only option, however, they each had their choice of the method they would use to kill themselves. The British man requested a pistol, and cried out "Long live the queen!" as he blew his brains out. The two others watched in horror as the savages flayed the man and made his skin into a canoe. The French man was next, and he requested a Saber. "Vive le France" was what he cried out as he disemboweled himself. The American guy watched again what they did with his body, as they made his skin into a canoe. The last guy, the American guy requested a fork in which to kill himself. As soon as it was handed to him, he started stabbing himself violently as he screamed "So much for your fucking canoe!"

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so skinny. The husband then donated some of his skin; however, the only place suitable to graft skin from was from his buttocks.

The husband requested that no one be told of this, because after all this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever did before! All her friends and relatives just ranted and raved at her youthful beauty.

She was alone with her husband one day and she wanted to thank him forwhat he did. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me! There is no way I could ever repay you!"

He replied, "Oh don't worry, Honey, I get plenty of thanks every time your mother comes over and kisses you on your cheek."

a girl was walking to the beach when a brunnete and her blonde friend said your never gonna get a tan wearing all those clothes, and and the girl said or skin cancer.
the blonde then said oh please we dont even smoke.

According to a study at Cincinnati University, people with dark skin are more likely to die from skin cancer than their light skinned counterparts. Said a researcher, "These findings prove that black does indeed crack."