Skin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it. Probably, the gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job."

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind." Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep more...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied," think nothing of more...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty.

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay more...

There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin.
The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind.
The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin.
And the husband replied, "no need...I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!"

A young woman had her face severely burned in a serious car accident. The doctors were unable to use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery, so her husband offered the skin off his butt instead.
The surgery was successful and she was, once again, as beautiful as she was before the accident.
As she and her husband were watching TV together one evening, she broke down crying. "What's the matter, honey?" he asked her. With tears rolling down her cheeks she sobbed, "I can't believe you did this for me."
Putting his arms around her, he replied, "Sweetheart, I love you. I'd do anything for you."
"But how will I ever be able to repay you?" she asked.
"No need to repay me," he said. "You have no idea how much satisfaction I get each time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek!"

There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors said they could take the burnt skin and replace it with extra skin.The woman's husband gladly allowed the doctors to use some skin from his behind.The woman healed beautifully and ask her husband if there was anything she could do for him for being so nice to donate his skin.And the husband replied, "no need...I get all the satisfaction I could ever want each time your mother kisses you on the cheek!"

In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And so God created Man in His own image; Male and female He created them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman And saw that they were lean and fit. And God populated the earth With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach And green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, So Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained five pounds.
And so God created the healthful yogurt, That Woman might keep her figure. But the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained five pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil more...