Sky Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little old Jewish lady has taken her young grandson to the beach. He is playing in the shallow water. She is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the little boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He has simply vanished into the sea.

The grandmother raises her hands high up toward the sky, screams and
cries, "Lord, how could you take him? Have I not been a wonderful grandmother? Have I not been a wonderful mother? Have I not given to Bnai Brith? Have I not given to Hadassah? Have I not lit candles every Friday night at dusk? Have I not tried my very best to live the life that you would have me live?"

A loud voice booms down from the sky, "Okay, okay, already!"

A few seconds later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the little boy is more...

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then sked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:' Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Little birdie in the sky, dropped a poopie in my eye.
I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I'm just happy cows can't fly!

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer.

She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:' Holy Smoke! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Little Johnny was in class again. Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand." The sky is definitely blue." "Thats not bad, Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red." Young Sally tried: "The grass is definitely green." "Good try Sally, but grass can be yellow or brown too!" Suddenly Little Johnny's hand shoots up." Miss Brown does a fart have lumps?" The teacher was horrified." No of course not Johnny! What are you talking about?" So Johnny says,"Well then Miss brown, I've definitely shit my pants!"

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is more...

One day there guys (An American, A Russian and a
Sri Lankan) were travelling around the world.
The American said "we are now flying over New York".
The other two asked "why?", The American replied "we
can see the Sky High buildins".
A few hours later the Russian said "We are now flying
over Russia". The other two said "Why?". The russian
replied "you can see our sky labs".
Finally, the Sri Lankan said "we are now flying over
Slave Island - Sri Lanka". As before the other two said
"Why?". The Sri Lankan replied "I kept my hands out
and my wedding ring is now missing"