Slime Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!

What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off?
I`ll get you next slime!

What was the snail doing on the highway?
About one mile a day!

What is the definition of a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!

What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall?
How slime flies!

How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty?
The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!

What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out!

What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?
School dinners come on a plate!

How do snails get their shells so shiny?
They use snail varnish!

Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of giants fingers!

Why is the snail the strongest animal?
Because he carries a house on his back!

Q: How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A: When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a dalmation?
A: A dalmation knows when to stop chasing the ambulance.
Q: What do slime molds have more of than lawyers?
A: Respect.
Q: What does molds, ooze, and lawyers have in common?
A: They're all slime.
Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: What are some of the requirements in becoming a lawyer?
A: You must be able to get muggers, rapists, and pope abusers off the hook, and must have at least one relative who works at IBM.
Q: What kind of lure must you use if you want to attract lawyers so as to shoot them?
A: You may use any as long as it yells every once in a while "I'm gonna more...

What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!