Slippers Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rich man and a poor man had a talk about cristmass presents
richman \I got my wife a ring and a BMW for cristmass
poorman \ why both
richman \ if she dont like the ring she can drive back with
a smile
poorman \ i got my wife a piar of slippers and a vibraitor
richman \ why both
poorman \ if she dont like the slippers she can go fuck her self

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"And I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more. When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went. But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been. Since I have retired from life's competition, more...

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden-so I've heard it said- but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up. Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself, "Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?" And I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more. When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went. But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been. Since I have retired from life's more...

A man was feeling very stressed out, so he decided to take a hot bath.
Just as he got comfortable in the tub, the doorbell rang. He got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door, only to find a salesman selling brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
As soon as he settled in, the doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and the robe, and he started for the door. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the tub.
Cursing under his breath, he struggled into his street clothes, called a taxi, and headed to his doctor's office.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you're very lucky. You could have suffered a serious injury but, fortunately, nothing is broken. What you really need to do is try to relax. Why don't you go home and take a nice, long, hot bath?"

You Know Someone Is From Hawaii If...
They have a separate circuit breaker for their rice cooker.
Only NOW they know that cilantro is the same as Chinese parsley.
They measure the water for the rice by the knuckle of their index finger. They know which market sells poi on which days.
They know that Char Sung Hut is closed on Tuesday.
They can handle shoyu with green mango, li hing mui gummy bears, raw egg on hot rice, and pearl tea (carnation milk in hot water with sugar) with creme crackers.
Their refrigerator has half-empty jar of mango chutney from the `95 Punahou Carnival.
The condiments at the table are shoyu, ketchup, chili peppah watah, and kimchee. Also, takuwan, Hawaiian salt, slice onion, and pickle onion. They go to Maui and their luggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs, and guri guri for omiyage.
They think the four food groups are starch (rice), Spam, fried food, and fruit punch.
A balanced meal has three more...