Slippers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes.
Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax. Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang.The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes.Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky.Nothing is broken. But you need to relax...Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

Q. What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
A. Nice tits!

Q. Why do they call it PMS?
A. Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

Q. What's the difference between a muff-dive and a speed-trap?
A. With a muff-dive you always have a clear view of the cunt!!

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. Why would a bloke give his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for her birthday?
A. Because if she doesn't like the slippers she can go and get fucked.

Q. What's the difference between a police car and a pair of knickers
A. You can only fit one cunt in a pair of knickers.

Q. What did Yul Brynner say to Freddy Mercury in heaven?
A. So the fags got you too! !

Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.

Q. What's the definition of a more...

One night a man is driving when his car breaks down in the middle of the street. He walks to the nearest house and rings the doorbell. A little old lady answers the door wearing a pink robe and pink slippers. The man asks if he can use her phone to call a toe truck. The old lady tells him it is to late to call for a toe truck so he can stay the night w/ her and call in the morning. She takes him through the pink hallway, up the pink stairs, through another pink hallway to the 3rd pink door to the right. She tells him that this is where he will sleep for the night. she walks back down the pink hall to the 1st pink door on the left and open the door. She walks in and takes off her pink robe and pink slippers, turns off the pink light and gets into her pink bed. About an hour later the doorbell rings agian. She put on her pink slippers and her pin robe, crawles out of her pink bed, turns on the pink light and leaves the room. She walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, down more...

1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
2. Cats look silly on a leash.
3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.
5. A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.
8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The more...

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went.But in spite of it all I am able to grinwhen I recall where my get up has been.Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up.Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"And I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more.When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head.When I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through.But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back.The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went.But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been.Since I have retired from life's competition, I more...

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"