Smart Jokes / Recent Jokes
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moooo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
The wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied,
Child: "Bud."
Smart man + Smart Woman = RomanceSmart Man + Dumb Woman = PregnancyDumb Man + Smart Woman = AffairDumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man +smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man +dumb woman =pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss +smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at more...
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog.", the man commented. "Not so smart," said one of the players. "every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."