Smashed Jokes

A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.The husband asks: "Did we break that too?""Yes", replies the man."Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks."No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer.""Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces."Second, I want a million bucks a week for life.""Poof! you get a million bucks a week", the genie more...

Extracted from US news papers:
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A 24-YEAR-old man being chased by a police officer from a Beverly Hills, Calif., house that he was
suspected of burglarizing ran into a tree branch and knocked himself unconscious. In September, in
Akron, Ohio, police said that Christopher S. Dobbins, 28, in the process of robbing Leonardo's Pizza,
slipped on a streak of grease on the floor, which was the result of a dropped pizza earlier in the
evening, and knocked himself out.
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IN ST. LOUIS IN OCTOBER, according to police, Robert Puelo, 32, stole a hot dog from a 7-Eleven and
left the store, cramming it into his mouth as he ran. Minutes later, Puelo choked to death on a
6-inch piece of the hot dog that lodged in his throat.
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In Council Bluffs, Iowa, seven relatives ranging in age from 10 to 71 piled into the family car
intending to commit suicide over more...

A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house. The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp. The husband asks: "Did we break that too?" "Yes", replies the man." Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks." No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?" The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer." "Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces." Second, I want a million bucks a week for life." "Poof! you get a million bucks a week", the genie more...

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of thewindshields.British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like a bolt shot from a crossbow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, andbegged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA responded with a one-line memo: more...

One rainy day a Sardar was traveling by his new FERRARI car. He was Not a very good driver and so did not have complete control on it.
Mike Tyson was also riding his bike on the same road. At a speed breaker
Sardar's car came in contact with Tyson's bike.
Tyson got very angry. He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a Few yards away from the car.
Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted "Hey!! It's not Easy for you to damage my bike and get away. Now I will be thrashing Your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your Car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashed its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar. Sardar looked at Tyson's sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked
At sardar. Sardar grinned at Tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he Broke the more...