Smile Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.' Clinton, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner. The DI is taken to the second dead man.' Suharto, 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'' Nothing unusual here', thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.' Ah,' says the coroner.' This is the most unusual one. Dr. Mahathir, 75, struck by lightning.'' Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector. To which the coroner replies,' He thought he was having his picture taken.'

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a gun.

It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for awhile searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but
he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him- he's done this many times before. His cool
smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake you head and more...

It's your first time.
As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no.
He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him- he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are more...

It's your first time.As you lie back your muscles tighten.You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.He asks if you're afraid, and you shake your head bravely and mumble no. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him- he's done this many times before.His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel slight trickle of blood as he continues.He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him more...

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.