Smile Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
A: Because the snow blower was coming down the block.

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sittin at the end of the bar counterwith a great big smile on his face Dave says "John what are you so happy for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave, she couldn't swim!!."
The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says "What are you so happy about today John?"
"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave, tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure more...

Why does a blonde smile at lightning?
She thinks she's getting her picture taken.

If you use lighter strings.. he should use heavier strings to sound better
If you sit and play.. why doesn't he stand?
If you stand why doesn't he sit?
If you smile.. what's wrong with him?
If you don't smile.. what's wrong with him?
If you play two measures in octaves.. Wes was a big influence
If you play more than two measures in octaves.. you sound just like Wes
If you like to play "out" what's he doing, can he really play?
If you play " inside". Yeah! But can he really play?
If you play an Archtop. . why does he need such a big guitar
If you play a solid-body that's not a jazz guitar

A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.

A lady about eight months pregnant got on to a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the man's smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He now seemed very amused. She moved a fourth time and the man burst out laughing. She complained of this to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man; about 20 years old, what he had to say for himself. Very amusing... The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this. When the lady got on the bus I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said "The Double Mint Twins are coming", and I grinned. Then she moved again and sat under a sign that said "Slogan's liniment will reduce the Swelling", and I had to smile. Then she moved and placed herself under a sign that said, "Wrigley's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. But, your Honor, when she moved more...

For Christmas last year my wife gave me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity Internet Web team in college, I decided it was a good idea to try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. I thought y'all might enjoy my journal:
Day 1:
Started the morning at 5: 00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club, Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about 30-50 points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was more...