"A Jazz Guitarist's Dilemma! 2" joke

If you use lighter strings.. he should use heavier strings to sound better
If you sit and play.. why doesn't he stand?
If you stand why doesn't he sit?
If you smile.. what's wrong with him?
If you don't smile.. what's wrong with him?
If you play two measures in octaves.. Wes was a big influence
If you play more than two measures in octaves.. you sound just like Wes
If you like to play "out" what's he doing, can he really play?
If you play " inside". Yeah! But can he really play?
If you play an Archtop. . why does he need such a big guitar
If you play a solid-body that's not a jazz guitar