Smoke Jokes / Recent Jokes
After five years of toil at a Wall Street law firm, an associate was burning the midnight oil at his office. Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and a tower of smoke burst from the floor. Satan stepped out of the smoke, and addressed the lawyer:
"I understand you'd give absolutely anything to make partner," said the devil, "So I've come here to make you an offer. I'll make you a partner, but in return I will take the souls of your wife, your parents, your children, your grandchildren, and all of your friends."
The lawyer looked strangely puzzled, and thought hard for several minutes. Finally, he turned to Satan and asked, "What's the catch?"
two scientests are working on an expierement. they have 4 worms and 4 jars. in one jar is sperm. another is alchohal. third is smoke. fourth one filled with dirt. they come bac after 24 hrs the one in the sperm, alchohal, and smoke are dead the one in the dirt is alive. this is what it teaches you if you have sex drink and smoke u wont get worms
A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself "I know I led a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this."
Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
COUNSELOR: What's the problem, you look depressed?
GUY: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
COUNSELOR: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
GUY: Sure, I love to drink.
COUNSELOR: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
GUY: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
COUNSELOR: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest more...
If God had intended man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.
In South Bend, Indiana, it is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b) A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17. It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks. Liquor stores may not sell milk. Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor. You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her. One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate. Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session. Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes. Pedestrians more...
The smoke detector industry is covering up research showing more people are injured every year falling from ladders and stepstools while trying to replace smoke detector batteries than are injured in house fires.