Smoker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die." The men left the doctor`s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor`s words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend more...

Chat between Non smoker & Smoker.
Non Smoker: How many Cigas you smoke per day?
Smoker: One Packet.
Non smoker calculating money spending for smoking..
Non Smoker: Do you now that, from the money that you are spending for smoking for 7 years
can be use to buy your own house?
Smoker: Do you Smoke?
Non smoker: No.
Smoker: Do you have your own house? ???..

Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor.
This promo is a limited offer... See your more...

Good News To All SmokersThe International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and AsthmaSecond Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, BronchitisThird Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also be a lucky winner! Please claim your prizes at the nearest funeral parlor.This promo is a limited offer... See your X-Ray result for more details!!!

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don’t talk such rubbish!
Be A Smoker!
Good News To All Smokers
The International Tabacco Syndicate, on its Golden Anniversary, wishes to invite Smokers of all ages to join in its biggest Anniversary Sweepstakes Draw, where every smoker is a sure winner! All smokers have the chance of winning the following major prizes.
Grand Prizes: A Brand New Cancer, Bronchial Infection, Goiter, Sinusitis, Migraine, Cerebral Tumor, Paralysis, Hypertension, and Asthma
Second Prizes: Special Hepatitis, Meningitis, Bronchitis
Third Prizes: Colored TB, Emphysema, Arteriosclerosis, Gingivitis, Rheumatism, Heart Disease, and Lung Cancer.
You can also have a chance to win consolation prizes such as: Tartar Deposits, Bad Breath, Stained Teeth, Appetite Loss, and Swelled Gums.
Join now!!! Remember that the more sticks you puff, the more chances of easy winning. Fabulous prizes await you!!! You can also more...

Does a guy prefer a women who smokes of not?
to find out your finger.
(grabbing their finger say) {caugh caugh}