Snake Jokes / Recent Jokes
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail, and a dear twitchy little nose. YOU must be a BUNNY RABBIT!" And the little blind bunny was so pleased he danced with joy.
Then he said, "I can't thank you more...
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out." So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!" Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?" And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny more...
What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed? Sleep in the wardrobe!
Two friends, Al and Mike, were walking through the woods, when suddenly a snake jumped up and bit Mike on the penis. He was quickly down on the ground writhing in pain, so Al yelled,"Wait here while I run and get help!" So Al runs into town, gets to the doctors office, and tells him what happened. The doctor tells him he cannot leave the office, but told Al he would need to bite open the wound and suck out all of the venom. Al runs back into the woods, and finds Mike still writhing in pain.
"What did the doctor say?" asked Mike. And Al told him,
"The doctor says you're gonna die!"
Chinese scientists say they can predict earthquakes by observing the tendency of snakes to launch themselves headlong into walls.
Samuel L. Jackson said to be looking forward to the challenge of playing a Chinese scientist in his next film.
"Relax, it's only a tremor."
To track snake behavior, the earthquake bureau in the Guangxi Province monitors snakes through the use of video cameras linked to a broadband internet connection.
One snake known as Cottonmouth69 is said to have over 25,000 MySpace friends as a result of posting videos showing her shedding her skin.
"I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking Guangxi Province!"