Sock Jokes / Recent Jokes
Da night bepor Christmas
An all tru da house
Nating pas
Not eben a mouse.
Da children dey nossie
all snog on da ploor
An Mama puts newspepper
Tru da crack on da dor.
Den Mama in da stobe
Roost up da manuk
Steer up da adobo
An make bake da biko.
Den out on da rud
Dey got such a clatter
Soun like old manong
Pull down da ladder.
I run so past
To open da dor
I trip ober da dog
An pull down on da ploor!
As I look out da dor
In da light ob da moon
I thinking "apo, you cresy
I'm gitting old too soon."
Becus dere on da rud
Wer I turn my head
Dere's eight carabao
Pulling a sled
An a little driber
Wit a big ishtick
I know right away
must be St Nick.
Mob paster an paster
Da carabao dey come
He wistle an holler
An call dem by nim:
"Oy, Boogy!
Oy, more...
whats the differance between a camera and a sock??? A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes...
We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this. What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights." 1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. more...
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, ”What for? Are you going to set it on fire! ”
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
I wish I knew who came up with this one! I skewers elements of the famous "San Francisco" culture... Zelda and Jane were given a rottweiler at their commitment ceremony. If their dog needs to be walked two miles a day and they walk at a rate of 3/4 mile per hour, how much time will they spend discussing their relationship in public?
Michael has two abusive stepfathers and an alcoholic mother. If his self-esteem is reduced by 20% per dysfunctional parent, but Michael feels 3% better for every person he denigrates, how long will it take before he's ready to go home if 1 person walks by the cafe every 2 minutes?
Sanjeev has 7 piercings. If the likelihood of getting cellulitis on any given day is 10% per piercing, what is the likelihood Sanjeev will need to renew his erythromycin prescription during the next week?
Chad wants to take half a pound of pot to Orinda and sell it at a 20% profit. If it originally cost him $1, 500 in food stamps, how much should Nicole more...