Soda Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes?A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.
Three girls are sitting around, totally bored so one girl suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops. "I want mine to be 7-Up,' cause 7 days a week he's up." "I want mine to be Mountain Dew' cause when he's in between my mountains, we'll be doing it." "Mine's gonna be Jack Daniel's." "You can't do that. Here we are talking about soda pop and you're talking about a hard liquor." "Exactly."
Told to me by my mother, who owned a pharmacy in Tennessee, in 1950.
A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy, walks up to
the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him
that the pharmacist is not available. The man asks the young
clerk if he can recommend anything for his cough.
The clerk gives him a bottle of some medicine for his cough.
The customer takes a big swig, then after a few minutes, with
no apparent relief, he takes another, and another.
In a short while, the pharmacist returns, and sees his old friend,
the customer with the cough, sitting quietly in a booth
near the soda fountain. He says to his clerk that the fellow
has never before stopped at the soda fountain.
The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction.
The pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily
reprimands the clerk for recommending a laxative, instead of cough syrup.
The clerk reminds more...
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized
they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it
if they wouldn`t eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year,
when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let`s eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said,
"If you do, I won`t go!"
A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.
"I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"
The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?"
"I'll have a Scotch and soda - light on the soda," says Rover.
The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk - you're a ventriloquist!"
"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself - but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."
The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.
"Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight."
"Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."
"Let's go look for him," said the more...
Two blondes decided to share a can of diet soda. One blonde opened the can, poured half the contents into her own glass, and the other half into her friend's glass. Before throwing the can away, she stopped to read the nutritional information on the side.
"Wow, there's only one calorie per can," she commented.
"Hmmmm," replied her friend, "I wonder which glass has the calorie!"
A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.
"I'll have a bourbon and Coke!"
The man then turns to his dog and asks, "What are you going to have, Rover?"
"I'll have a Scotch and soda -- light on the soda," says Rover.
The bartender is skeptical about the dog talking. "Come on," he says, "that dog can't talk -- you're a ventriloquist!"
"No, Rover can really talk! While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself -- but don't let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog."
The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.
"Hey, where's my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight."
"Aw, I didn't believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper."
"Let's go look for him," said more...