Soft Jokes / Recent Jokes

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that
were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I
knew then I had to have you for my own.
Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I
carried you & threw the door.
Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs,
and breasts. Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so
tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender white
skin.
From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my
arms, to the warm water that awaits.
The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft
breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets
of water cover your taut skin.
My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads
of water. Making them trickle down off your body.
I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so
ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place,
so that I can put more...

The sky was dark.
The moon was high.
All alone.
Just her and I Her hair so soft.
Her eyes so blue.
I knew just what,
She wanted to do. Her skin so soft.
Her legs so fine.
I ran my fingers
Down her spine. I didn`t know how.
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts. I remember my fear.
My fast beating heart.
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart. And when she did it,
I felt no shame.
All at once
The white stuff came. At last it`s finished.
It`s all over now.
My first time...

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a womanbeside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. Theyare both quite startled.The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft asyour breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

Online computer users may engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through internet phone lines get pretty raunchy However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK...sure.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo, more...

Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-
36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm more...

Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-
36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm more...

Online computer users often engage in cyber sex. However, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OKSweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. more...