Softball Jokes / Recent Jokes

Softball is better than baseball because you don't have to watch your team lose for NINE innings.

A little girl was trying to raise $100 for her softball team. She prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then she decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the President of the United States. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little girl a $5 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little girl. The little girl was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

Love, Sara

You need a second job (or your parents do) just to pay for gloves, bats, equipment, uniforms, player fees, batting cages, etc... Your second job is umpiring at softball games. Your idea of spending quality time with your spouse is playing on the same co-ed team. You have more than one bat that cost over $200. You go to the softball fields on nights your team isn't even playing. You used to rest and relax on the weekends, now the only rest you get is between games at a tournament. You think "wearing something nice" means an all-tournament shirt with no dirt stains. When someone says they are going out of town this weekend you ask if there is a tournament there. All your white socks have dirt stains from playing softball. Your idea of a weekend getaway is a two-day tournament in (insert town name). You have a tattoo that says softball forever. You plan your summer vacation each year around the state softball tournament. You own more softball t-shirts than pairs of underwear. more...

How many softball players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Impossible! They are too busy complaining about the last call. ************************************What is the difference between a softball player and a puppy? A puppy will eventually stop whining! ********************************************What do you call a basement full of softball players? A whine cellar.

During the course of a heated softball tournament, the coach felt the need to remind one of his players about the importance of team play and good sportsmanship. The coach asked the player if he knew and remembered what good sportsmanship was. The player replied, "Yes." The coach then asked him if he knew he shouldn't curse at the umpire or throw things in anger. The player again replied "Yes.""Good," said the coach, "now could you please go tell your wife."

Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church more...

* When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a “USA! USA! ” chant.
* When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn’t “play with the big boys, ” and that she will never get past mid-card status.
* When you search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
* If you can actually remember Sting’s last public words.
* If on a job application, you state your residence as “parts unknown. ”
* If you quit your Job because you have to find your “Smile. ”
* When you’re getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
* If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
* When you look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.
* When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
* When you rack your neighbor’s dog.
* When you attend a graduation, and yell “Ooooooh yeah! ” more...