Solution Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only knowhow to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say,' Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have somefun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why youare embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrotswhom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them inthe cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrotsto praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop sayingthat... that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the womanresponded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest'shouse. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots wereinside their more...
Two sons were left a large piece of property by their father. For months they fought over how the land should be divided. Finally, they brought their problem to their rabbi and asked him to solve it.
"Come back tomorrow," said the rabbi, "and we'll talk."
The next day the sons returned and the rabbi gave them his solution.
"Toss a coin," he said to one of the brothers. "You call it, heads or tails," he said to the other. "The one who wins the toss, divides the land."
"That's no solution," said one of the brothers. "We're right back where we started from."
"Not so," said the rabbi. "The one who wins the toss divides the land; but the other gets first choice."
That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternallove triangle. They ate the sheep.
What They Said. . . And What We Did
According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a' gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight.
The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, and then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight.
It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers.
Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.
1) Test flight OK, e
GOLF COURSE!
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny afternoon. The first of the
twosome teed off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward
a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Sure enough, the ball hit one of the guys, and he immediately clasped his
hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll
around in agony. The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize.
She then explained that she was a physical therapist and offered to help
ease his pain. "Ummph, ooh, nnooo, I'll be alright... I'll be fine in a
few minutes", he replied as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he
finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid
them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside, beginning
to massage him.
"Does that feel better?", she more...