Sometimes Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side."
In the sleepy city of Sherrill, N. Y., two unsuspecting adults have found themselves the objects of sleep deprivation research. James Harden is currently in his tenth month of his study. His subjects, Debbie and Dennis Harden, have tried to foil his research to no avail. "Ferber" has failed and so has "The Family Bed." Young James conducts his studies by awakening in the wee hours of the morning, standing up in his crib, and screaming at the top of his lungs. Sometimes, a backrub from Mom will put him back to sleep; but at other times, it takes the formula ritual. Sometimes James is actually hungry but most of the time he just wants to check how his research is going. Just how far has he gone? Last week, James woke up too early; his parents were still up watching David Letterman. Dennis looked at his lovely wife and said, "I can't take this. I'm going to bed." Debbie responded, "If you do that, I will kill you in your sleep." Dennis went to get more...
Sometimes I just can't prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind.
DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be consumed separately. Although soon to be discontinued, a lot of people are going to keep drinking it after it’s no longer available.
Mac Beer
At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a “light” beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call the brewery to ask about the ingredients, you are told that “you don’t need to know. ” A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trash can.
Windows 3. 1 Beer
The world’s most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer’s. Requires that you already own more...
You get on with your partner.
There is anxious anticipation as you start.
You start slowly, climbing your way to the top.
There are smiles exchanged, and giggles, maybe even handholding.
The excitement builds and builds.
It nears the top.
The expressions on the faces become wondrous and excited.
Then as it hits the pinnacle, things move very fast.
There/'s a quick motion, the heart races with complete excitement, faces are all in total pleasure.
Arms are flailing, heads are bouncing, and there is some noticeable screaming going on.
The rest of the ride is up and down., twisting and turning, lots of bumping, sometimes in the light, sometimes in the dark. Sometimes there is a surprise and sometimes it becomes all too familiar but always, always at the end, there is a big smile on the face. Hair is all messed up, and everyone is talking about how great it is, while some of them will say
Sometimes I need what only you can provide - Your absence.