Song Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, these are REAL.)
1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The more...
The price of giving all the items bestowed by the "true love" of the song
"The Twelve Days of Christmas" may be a little beyond most people's
budget. The following costs were calculated for 1998, based upon a
report issued in 1995 by PNC Bank Corp., assuming an annual rate of
inflation of 2. 5 percent
1. Partridge in a pear tree $38
2. Turtle doves $54
3. French hens $16
4. Calling birds $302
5. Gold rings $485
6. Geese-a-laying $162
7. Swans-a-swimming $7, 538
8. Maids-a-milking $37
9. Pipers piping $2, 807
10. Ladies dancing $3, 245
11. Lords-a-leaping $1, 194
12. Drummers drumming $1, 293
Total to give gifts once $17, 170
Total to give as in song* $78, 986
* Singing the song in its entirety results in 364 presents. The partridge
is given 12 times, two doves 11 times (22 total), etc., etc., etc...
India's ruling Congress party has bought the rights to "Jai Ho," the Oscar-winning song from "Slumdog Millionaire." Meanwhile North Korea just tried to buy ACDC's "Highway to Hell".
You might be a redneck if you high school fight song was ''Dueling Banjos!''
The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.)1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth' Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? 7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. 12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow 14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! 15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 17) I'm Just A Bug On The more...
A young priest gets up in the morning and goes to breakfast.
On his way there two nuns look at him and he says,
"Good morning sisters" and they reply in a sing song manner,
"You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."
This stuns the priest who thought he had been very polite
but he just goes on. He wondered why they thought he grumpy.
He encounters a Brother a little while later along the way and
he says,"Good morning Brother."
The Brother replies in a sing song voice, "You got up on the
wrong side of the bed this morning." The priest looks confused
at all this but goes on.
He gets a little farther and he comes across a fellow
priest and he says, "Good morning Father." the priest
replies in a sing song manner, "You got up on the wrong side of
the bed this morning." Now the priest was mad.
He continues his walk to the dinning hall not saying more...
Once there was a man who wanted a pet. So he went to the pet shop to buy a bird that could sing. the owner siad ''this is an Amazon singing bird. If you put it over water it will sing a song about the sea. If you put it over the train tracks it will sing a song about working on rail road. But never put it over fire.'' So he took it to the lake and put over the water. The bird started to sing a pirates life. ''UHHHH I hate this song. so he took the bird from over the water. He did the same thing with the tracks the bird sung I've been working on the railroads.''UHHHHHH I hate this song too. hmmmm I wonder what would happen if I put him over fire. so he lit a match and the bird sung Chestnuts Roasting over an open fire.