Song Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did the song of the week retire?

A: It was all played out!

1. Start each day with a kiss.
2. Wear your wedding ring at all times.
3. Date once a week.
4. Accept differences.
5. Be polite.
6. Be gentle.
7. Give gifts.
8. Smile often.
9. Touch.
10. Talk about dreams.
11. Select a song that can be "our song".
12. Give back rubs.
14. Send a card for no reason.
15. do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
16. Listen.
17. Encourage.
18. Do it his or her way.
20. Fix the other person's breakfast.
21. Compliment twice a day.
22. Call during the day.
23. Slow down.
24. Hold hands.
25. Cuddle.
26. Ask for each other's opinion.
27. Show respect.
28. Welcome the other person home.
29. Look your best.
30. Wink at each other.
31. Celebrate birthdays in a big way.
32. Apologize.
33. Forgive.
34. Set up a romantic getaway.
35. Ask, "What can I do to make you more...

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it, too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play's because "oh my god! I love this song"

7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to
us.

8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the more...

Top 50 Worst Reasons to pull an all-nighter
by Jeremy "Shaggy" Toeman ([email protected])
NOTE: an all-nighter means missing one night's worth of sleep.
Heated "Less-filling" "Tastes great" debate.
Need to figure out which way is east. Wait for sunrise.
Watching Professional Wrestling.
Writing script to "Problem Child 3" in an attempt to put to rest all
the unanswered questions from 1 and 2.
Cramming for a test you have the following week.
Waiting for friend to call back with answer to "How do you keep an
idiot up all night?"
Anything involving latin, Taylor's series, or heat transfer.
Attempting to discover how many licks it takes to get to the center
of a Tootsie Pop.
Slightly confused on that whole 5 o'clock shadow thing.
Listening to every CD you own using that cool "intro" feature that
comes in SO handy with every CD player available.
John more...

An American. an Englishman and a Chinese man were all taking part in a quiz contest. One question asked them was to fill in a blank in a song title and then spell the word. The song title was 'Old Macdonald had a -'.
The American was first to answer - he said 'ranch', spelt R-A-N-C-H.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
The Englishman answered next - he said 'estate', spelt E-S-T-A-T-E.
"Wrong" said the quiz master.
Then the Chinese man answered - he said 'farm'.
"Please spell it" said the quiz master.
"E - I - E - I - O"

What is the wasps favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.

It's begun. And the Gap is to blame. They've got brightly-
dressed people having a snowball fight in a new commercial. To
the sound of "The Little Drummer Boy."

That would be the Christmas Carol, "The Little Drummer Boy. Not
the Week Before Thanksgiving Carol, mind you. And that means that
even though Christmas is, in a technical sense, more than five
weeks away, the annual bombardment of horrifyingly cheerful
Christmas music is on.

As I understand it, there was once a time when Christmas only
lasted one day. That had to end, though, so the Twelve Days of
Christmas song could get written. And without that song, how
could we have those hilarious parodies that are about to be
clogging up the airwaves? Of course, to be perfectly accurate,
it would have to be The Forty Days of Christmas now. Not that
I'm suggesting anything of the sort. Please don't write a new,
even longer version of more...