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How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing" God told the couple, "and I was wondering if either one of you wanted that abilty." Adam jumped up and blurted "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that. It seems the sort of thing a man would do. Please give me that ability. It'd be so great. When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let fly. It'd be sooo cool. I could write my name in the sand. Please, God, let it be me you give the gift to, let me stand to pee, oh please." Eve just smiled and said that if Adam really wanted that so bad that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make Adam really happy, and she didn't mind if Adam were the one more...
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability." Adam popped a cork. Jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be so cool. Oh please God let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please... " On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee). Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam more...
Part 7 - (Real Programmer at Play)
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Genrally, the Real Programmer plays the same way he works - with computers. He is constantly amazed
that his employer actually pays him to do what he would do for fun anyway (although he is careful not to
express this opinion loud). Ocassionally, the Real Programmer does step out of the office for a breath of
fresh air and a beer or two. Some tips on recognizing Real Programmers away from the computer room.
- At a party, the Real Programmers are the ones in the corner talking about operating system security
and how to get around it.
- At a football game, the Real Programmer is the one comparing the plays against his simulations printed
on 11x14 fanfold paper.
- At the beach, the Real Programmer is the one drawing flowcharts in the sand.
- At a funeral, the Real Programmer is the one saying "Poor George. And he almost had the sort routine
working before more...
1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don’t miss Sports Center (Sky)
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
b) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she’s more...
What sort of animals make the best TV presenters? Gnus - readers!
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in... she said "check books".