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What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.

"Dear Santa:
One of the saddest stories at Christmas is how Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, wasn't allowed to join in all the reindeer games. Rudolph became a hero, but we never actually found out what sort of games are reindeer games. What kinds of games are they?"
Well, Peter, there are reindeer games, and then there are The Reindeer Games. It's the difference between playing softball in the park with your buddies, and participating in the Olympics. Anyone can play reindeer games any time they want (even if you're not really a reindeer). But it takes a special sort of deer to have the drive to be in the Reindeer Games.
Again like the Olympics, there are a number of categories in the Reindeer Games, but here are some of the most popular:
LONG JUMP - Since our reindeer can actually fly, you can imagine the distances we get on this one.
100 COUNTRY DASH - Each year, our computers randomly generate a list of 100 countries, and the reindeer see who can more...

A middle aged woman and her husband visit a disco, just to remember what
it used to be like. After a few dances they sit down at the side to
recuperate. After a few minutes, a man comes over and asks the woman to
dance. She is rather flattered and with an approving glance from her husband,
accepts the invitation.
Well, after a few minutes bopping, the man leans over to her and says,
"You know, I think you're really good looking, could I kiss you, please?"
The woman is rather taken aback and replies, "Certainly not - I'm a married
woman and that's my husband over there."
The music continues, and after another few minutes the man leans over
again and says, "I really do think that you're the most attractive woman
I've seen for ages, could I feel your tits, please?"
By now the woman is getting angry, and replies,
"Of course not, what sort of person do you think I am?"
They continue dancing, and more...

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) Lovemaking
b) Screwing
c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) Your blood-test results
c) Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss Sports Update
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) Healthy, creative love-play
b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) The best part of the experience
c) The second best part of the experience
c) $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the more...

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear? A petticoat!

A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While walking through the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a large crowd gathered by the side of the road.

Going by instinct, the lawyer figured that there was some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the injured parties but couldn`t get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.