Space Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call an ant in space? Cosmonants & Astronants!

Gerrad, a friend of mine, bought a computer, even though he had never even used a typewriter before. After investigating the computer, he decided to call the help line. A friendly voice explained step by step how his new machine worked. All went well until the voice told him to press the space bar. After studying the keyboard, Gerrad said; “I’ve got the latest model and it doesn’t have a space bar. ” But after further explanation, he managed to find it.
A week later, Gerrad again had problems and called the help line. An instructor was then sent to his house for training. But after a few minutes, Gerrad’s head was spinning. “You don’t need to go any further, ” he sighed, I don’t understand a thing. ”
To cheer him up, the instructor said: “Hey, there are people who understand a lot less than you. Last week we had someone on the phone who didn’t even know where the space bar was! ”

Scientists say that when the Sun burns out, we here on Earth will find out 8 minutes later.

I don't know about the rest of you but if I get the slightest feeling that the Sun is about to go out, I'll be sure to spend the next 8 minutes praying to God for him to burn the moon.

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.
Finally, there was a Pakistani scientist who offered to help. NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything."Tilt the rocket 90 degrees to the right" said the Pakistani scientist.
The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the Pakistani said. The engineers did. "Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do.
He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our CD70 more...

1...Silence, the final frontier - Where no woman has gone before.2...The undiscovered side of Banking - How to make deposits.3...Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome - You don't need new shoes everyday.4...Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.5...Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.6...An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.7...Man Management - Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.8...Personal Space - Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.9...Valuation - Just because it's not important to you.10..Communication Skills I - Tears as the last resort and not the first.11..Communication Skills II - How to think before speaking.12..What he really wants - Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.13..Driving a car safely - A skill you can also acquire.14..Real women drink their share at a party.15..Telephones - How to hang up.16..Parking - Beginners more...

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig-zag. At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there. So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse. After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse.. When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear. The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.

Sighting #1:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."



Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"



Sighting #3:

At a goodbye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "rightsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked more...