Spake Jokes / Recent Jokes

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The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
Why did God invent relativity?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Well, it all started on March 12, 1867. Me and Lucifer and God and
Death and a couple of other guys got really hammered, see, and we were
shooting dice together, and Luci was really cleaning up. (I still think
the dice were fixed, but I don't know for sure.) Anyway, God got low on
cash, and Luci got this idea that he'd stake him, but if God lost, he'd
have to let Luci rewrite some laws of physics. Naturally, God didn't
like the idea, but Luci suggested that me and Thanatos could help, and
eventually agreed to the idea (did I mention we were all extremely
plastered?). Anyway, God lost, and me and Luci and more...