Spat Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his love had a terrible spat:
She scratched his face and he knocked her flat;
She spat at him and he threw her around;
She jumped from behind and he fell to the ground.
How sad to see such trouble as that...
Between a man and his household cat!

There once was a Chinese waiter that worked at a bar. One day a man came in and sat down. The Chinese waiter walked up to him and said,
"
Can I get you something?"
And the man said "
A coke, please"
and so the Chinese waiter went to get the coke. He came back and gave the coke to the man and awaited as he drank it. Then the man spat it out, and the Chinese waiter burst out in laughter and said, "
Me Chinese, me play joke, me put Pee Pee in your coke!"
For the Chinese waiter had placed pee into the man's coke and the man left angrily.
And so the Chinese waiter continued his joke on and on again, customer after customer. Soon enough a cowboy stopped by and the Chinese waiter came up to him and asked if he could get him something and the cowboy said, "
a coke"
and so the Chinese waiter went and brought him one, as he waited for the cowboys reaction. Then the cowboy spat it out very angrily. Then the more...

A man walked into a bar and ordered a twelve-year old scotch. As the bartender was busy, he decided to serve the guy whatever he had under his hand.
The fellow took a sip, spat it out, and told the bartender, "I asked for a twelve-year old scotch and not a three year-old one."
When the bartender heard that, he checked the bottle and was amazed that the fellow was right -- he had served him a three-year old scotch. The bartender wanted to see how good the fellow was, so he served him another scotch, this one a six-year old.
The guy had a sip and spat it out, complaining, "I asked for a twelve-year old scotch and not a six-year old one."
The bartender was surprised by how good this fellow was. So the barman decided to play one more little game. He served the customer a nine-year-old scotch instead of a twelve-year old one as requested.
The fellow had a sip and spat it out, stating, "I think I asked for a twelve-year old scotch and not a more...

Two doctors had boarded a flight out of Boston, one taking the window seat and the other, the middle seat. Just prior to take off, an attorney boarded and took the aisle seat next to them.
The attorney kicked off his shoes and had no sooner settled in, when the doctor in the window seat decided he would get up and get himself a coke. The attorney said, "No problem, I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the doctors picked up his shoe and spat in it.
When he returned with the first doctor's coke, the other doctor decided that it looked so good, he would like one too.
The attorney said he would go and get one for him. While he was gone this time, the other doctor picked up the other shoe and spat in it.
When the attorney returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the remainder of the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his shoes on and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long is this going to continue?" he asked. more...

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said,"I need to get up and get a beer."
"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you".
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it too. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and realized immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this more...