Specialist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A patient was in the examination room of a famous specialist, waiting nervously for the doctor to enter.
"Tell me, who did you see before coming to me?" the doctor asked, as soon as he entered the room.
"My local General Practitioner," replied the patient.
"Your GP?" scoffed the specialist. "What a total waste of time! What sort of useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see you!" answered the patient.

The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess Specialists) caught from the crew and how they gave back as much as they got. He talked to the Food Service Officer and decided to talk to the cooks and get them to be more cheerful when they served the meals to the sailors coming down the line. A smile and a cheerful comment, a willingness to serve them will reap great benefits he told them.After his pep talk the Food Service Officer and the Chaplain stood back and watched the food being served.A new sailor aboard walked down the line but he didn't like anything he saw so he just carried his tray down the line till he got to the desert section. He picked up a saucer containing a large piece of chocolate cake.The Mess Specialist looked at him, "Is that all you're gonna eat?" he asked.The sailor said, "Yeah, the rest of it don't look too appetizing."The Mess Specialist smiled and said, "Well, in that case would you like two more...

A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of his (also a mute).
In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing. The friend replied (vocally!), "Oh, you can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now!"
Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. It seems that he had gone to a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords. Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist. They got an appointment that very afternoon.
After an exam, the specialist proclaimed that there was no permanent damage, that the mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well.
"Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!"
"Very well," replies the specialist.
"Kindly go into the next room, drop your pants and lean over the more...

A man noticed a growth coming out of the center of his forehead so he consults with a specialist. After examining him, the specialist tells him that he has a rare genetic disorder, what's happening is that a penis is growing out of his forehead.
The specialist further explains that while his life is not in danger, it is inoperable due to its extensive root system. He suggests he wears a hat and reminds him that it could be much worse.
"What, how can you say that!" the man shrieks. "Whenever I comb my hair or shave, I'm going to see a dick sticking out of my forehead. Have you any idea what that is going to do to my ego?"
"You won't see anything because your balls are going to be in your eyes," the doctor says.