Sprouts Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bachelor's DietMONDAY:BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maaloxDINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.
TUESDAY: BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslawLUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.
WEDNESDAY:BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's LUNCH - Rolaids and a cokeDINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
THURSDAY:BREAKFAST - Order out for more...

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
"'Tis the season to be jelly!"
What do ducks do before Christmas dinner?
Pull their Christmas quackers!
What do you drain Christmas dinner brussel sprouts with?
An advent colander!
What happens when you eat Christmas tree decorations?
You get tinsel-itus!
What's the most common wine at Christmas?
Do I have to have the brussel sprouts!
Will the Christmas pudding be long?
No, it'll be the traditional round!