Squirrels Jokes / Recent Jokes

An baby rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as if it were one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviours on the part of the rabbit, including a tendency for it to run around like its stepsiblings instead of jumping around.As the rabbit reached puberty, however, it soon faced an identity crisis (don't we all). It went to its stepparents to discuss the problem.It confessed how it felt different from its stepsiblings and was much forlorn.Their response was... "Don't scurry, be hoppy."

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See! It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It? s my nut!"The first squirrel said, "That? s not fair! I saw it first!""Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn? t quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I? ll take the meat."

Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, “Oh, look! A nut! ” The second squirrel jumped on it and said, “It? s my nut! ”
The first squirrel said, “That? s not fair! I saw it first! ”
“Well, you may have seen it, but I have it, ” argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, “You shouldn? t quarrel.
Let me resolve this dispute. ” The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, “Now, give me the nut. ” He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, “See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved. ”
Then he reached over and said, “And for my fee, I? ll take the meat. ”

One day Bob stepped into a pawn shop. He looked around but didn`t see anything he liked. Bob was about to leave, when he noticed a stuffed squirel sitting atop a dusty old shelf. Bob said to the owner "Can I have that squirrel?"
The owner said "Yes, sure, on one condition: you must never bring it back."
So Bob took the stuffed rodent and started walking down the street. A few feet later he heard a noise. Bob turned around, and to his surprise, a real live squirrel was follwing him! Bob quickened his pace and walked a little farther, then turned back and ten squirrels were following him! Bob started jogging, but after a little while, he turned back and there was a whole sidewalk full of squirrels!
Now Bob was scared. He ran as fast as he could, and then he got to the ocean. There, at the water`s edge, he took the stuffed squirrel and flung it as far as he could into the brine. And then the whole townfull of squirrels jumped into the ocean!
Bob more...