Sri Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do not. We only eat the inner part, the crust is put in a container, later processed, transformed into flour and then sold to Sri Lanka. The Sri Lankan says nothing.
The American continues: Do you eat this jelly with the bread?
The Sri Lankan repeats: Of course.
The American: We do not. We eat our fresh fruits for breakfast; we keep all the peels and seeds in the containers. Later we process it, and transform it into jelly and then we sell it to Sri Lanka.

The Sri Lankan asks: And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?
The American: We throw them away, of course!
The Sri Lankan: We do not. We keep them in containers, process them, transform them in to chewing gum and more...

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Sri Lankan hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Sri Lankan devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the more...

Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
GETTING ON
At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
EMBARKATION CARD
When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
GETTING OFF
Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...

A Sri lankan visit his friend in newyork. They went for a night out. Friend said when ever you go for a girl make sure to wear a condom so that you will not get HIV.
They were walking at 42nd street and suddenly a guy came infront of them and demanded all the money they had and threatne to inject HIV.
The friend suddenly gave all his money and ask his sri lankan friend to do the same but he refused. The robber injected the HIV and disappeared.
His friend was so upset and told him you are new to this city and why didnt you give your money to him? Do you know that you are already injected with Deadliest HIV.
Sri lankan friend said "Dont worry i am already wearing a Condom"

There is a grade one class in a countryside school in Sri Lanka.
Marisipala is a student of this class and he had a problem with "ha"yanna. When he trying to write "hayanna", automatically he writes "hu"yanna.
One an inspector came to school and he came to grade 1 to inspect children's knowledge.
Inspector said write "parangi hatana" to Marisipala and as mentioned bebore he wrote "parangi hutana".
Then, teacher said "huta makanna!, Marisipala!, Huta Makanna!.
After that, inspector said that he is too small, If you like, I will do it for you.
(note: if you can't understand this "vachana kanapita haravanna".)