Sri Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was three guys one of them was a Sri lankan guy.
when the wight man said that in thier country that when they
dick about 500 feet underground they found telephone wire so he
said that they have used telephone longe time ago. but the Black man
said that when they dick 700 feet they found telephone wires so
they have used telephone long long time ago. But the Sri Lankan
guy said that when in our country we dick more that 1000 feet and
we couldn't found any wires so we should have used handphone
very very long time ago.

A Sri Lankan old lady who was living with her grand son in a village decided to send the boy to Ananda college in Colombo as he was the studious sort. Just before the holidays began she got a request from the boy to buy him a bike.
So the boy came home and noticed the new bike. Instead of doing any studies he gets up in the morning and goes out riding nearly whole day every day. When the grand ma expressed her dismay, the boy said sit down on the door step and watch. He rode round the house without holding the handle bars and said Aachchi no hands. Then he went again without peddling and said Aachchi no feet. Then he said aachchi this time no hand and no feet and started off. Now Aachchi waited for a while but no sign of the boy. So she thought that he pulled a fast one and disappeared and went round the house to have a look. Then suddenly the boy appeared from some bushes saying aachchi no teeth.

The government of Sri Lanka is now hiring MP s for the next parliament.
Salary: Rs 22100/- per month
Other allowances: ( legal)
1 Entertainment Rs 1000/- per month
2 Fuel allowance Rs 7500/- per month
3 Cell phone allowance Rs 2000/- month
4 Attending parliament Rs 4000/- per month
5 Driver's allowance Rs 3500/- per month (can use
more than one driver)
Other benefits:
1 Telephone with international connection
2 Photo copier at duty free rate ( Rs 685/-) monthly.
3 Computer at duty free rate ( Rs 1150/-)monthly.
4 Typewriter at duty free rate ( Rs 425/-) monthly.
5 Permit to import a luxury car valued at 30000 Us $
6 After 5 years another permit to import a luxury car
7 MPs those who selected are living 25 miles from
Colombo are entitled 2 story house with 3 bed rooms and other facilities ( Rs 1000 will be charged per month as rent)
Other previlages:
food at low cost from parliament more...

One day an edlderly customer presented a cheque to the paying counter where I was working as a cashier.
His name was MR.. .... Perera.
While scrutinizing the cheque I found every thing is in order but the cheque was drawn in favour of Perera and sons. As a practice in Sri Lanka, an individual cannot cash such cheques over the counter.
So, I explained very politely to the presenter.
" Mr. Perera, this cheque is for Perera and sons, not for you "
" That's right, my three sons also here"

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian
scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed,
American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Sri Lankan press reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500m, Sri Lankan scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones."

Silly Sri Lankan Joke - posted by MLL E-mail:
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Once a foreigner came to Sri Lanka. There were mosquitoes, so he bought a mosquito net os he could sleep w/out deling w/ buzzing mosquitoes. The 1st night, he slept well. the 2nd night, there were fireflies hovering above his mosquito net. He panicked & ran screaming into the night saying,"Oh my gods, Sri Lankan mosqitoes carry lanterns!!!!!!!!!"
{;^D
MLL
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Premadasa Joke - posted by unknown E-mail:
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premadasa went to the opening ceromny of the
auditorium at ladies college
having exited looking at the chicks
he started the speech saying
I have never seen hall like ladies hall

A Sri Lankan politician namely S. B. Dissanayake went to the U. S. to visit his counterpart. When the senator invited him home for dinner, the minister was very impressed by the lavish mansion and lush grounds and costly furnishings.

"But how can you afford all this on a meager senator's salary?" the minister asked. The sentaor smiled knowingly and took him to the window.
"You see that river?"
"Yes."
"You see the bridge over it?"
"Of course," said the minister.
"Just Ten percent of the project" the senator said smugly.
Some time later, the senator had occasion to pay a return visit. S. B lavished all hospitality on him. When they came to the minister's house, the American was stunned by the huge palace the minister had built, which glittered with precious art and bustled with hundreds of servants.

"But how can you possibly afford this, on a salary in Sri Lankan more...