Stage Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Singapore English radio station, was holding a live radio segment at a shopping mall. The DJ was hosting a game show where prizes were given away to kids on stage if they could name the opposite gender of animals. The first kid to come on stage was a girl. "What's your name girl & how old are you?" "My name is Cheryl & I am 8 years old." "OK, tell me Cheryl, what is the opposite of cow?" "Bull." "Very good! That's correct. Now here's a Barbie doll for you. Ladies & gentlemen, please give her a round of applause." The game then continued for the next 15 minutes in a similar fashion with the kids getting all the simple questions correct until it was time for the 10th kid to come on stage. The audience were very impressed with this kid as he was very clever & articulate from the moment he stepped on stage, before being asked, announced, "My name is Johnny. I am 7 years old and I like English, Math & Art. My hobbies are collecting more...
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your more...
Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't more...
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all more...
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every
subject in the known Universe. You know you know
everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone
who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of
course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This
makes for an interesting argument when both parties are
SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING
person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You
can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you
and really want to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to
this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in
the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because
you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind
the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because more...
Stage 1: Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried
about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about
these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put
you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the
food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from
Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.
Stage 2: Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of
that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go
to bed like a good girl just for papa.
Stage 3: Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing
like a little rest when you feel lousy. I'll bring you something. Have
you got any canned soup?
Stage 4: Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've
fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd
better lie down.
Stage 5: Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?
Stage 6: If you'd just gargle or something more...
The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the
sweetest face for the opening scene of the Christmas play. "Now,
all you have to do, when you hear me say to the choir' ... and
the angel lit the candle', is come on stage and light all the
candles."
"I can do it, I can do it!" the little boy said, excitedly.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The
choir was ready, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens
of unlit candles all around, and all awaited the moment when the
cute littlest angel would make his entrance.
The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and
the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an
expectant "... and the angel lit the candle"
Everyone looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy.
The director gave the downbeat again, and more loudly said,
"... and the angel lit the more...