Standards Jokes / Recent Jokes

Welcome to Managed Caring(tm), a whole new way of thinking about friendship. The Managed Caring Plan(tm) combines all the advantages of a "traditional" friendship network with important cost-saving features.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers. All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Caring(tm) panel.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY FRIENDS?
If you're like most people, you're probably receiving Friendship Services from a network of Providers haphazardly patched together based on where you've lived, worked, or gone to school. The result is costly duplication, inefficiency and conflict. Some Providers may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or experimental behavior. Under Managed Caring(tm), your friendship needs are coordinated by a designated Best Friend, who Cares(tm) about the quality of all your Friendships.
HOW more...

The Army recruited 80,635 soldiers this year.7000 more than last year.
I will be following suit and lowering my standards after seeing The Army's success rate.

This year, World Standards Day was October 14.
In the US, the day was marked
on October 11.
-Annals of Improbable Research

According to BBC News, Nicole Kidman didn't need an annulment from Tom Cruise in order to marry Keith Urban in a Catholic Church-since Kidman and Cruise were wed in a Scientology ceremony, they were not officially married by Catholic Church standards.
Other couples not married by Catholic Church standards include:

Joseph and Hadassah Lieberman,
Osama Bin Laden and his wives Fatima, Barakah, and Ghuynda,
Sir Elton John and David Furnish,
Genghis and Mrs. Khan,
and panda bears Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing.

The class discussion centered on the university's coed dorms. While the professor said this cohabitation of men and women reflected the newer generation's relaxed ethical standards, many students disagreed. Finally one student asked, "You mean you never walked into a woman's dorm after hours when you were in college?"Never," the teacher replied firmly. "I had to climb in through the window."

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from.