Statements Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following are copies of actual written statements submitted to the police on report forms. The drivers were instructed to give brief statements on the particulars of the accident in their own words.
Here are some examples...
Woman Driver: I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
Man Driver: A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
Woman Driver: The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
Man Driver: I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
Man Driver: In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
Man Driver: I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.
Woman Driver: I saw the slow moving, sad face, old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
Woman Driver: I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was more...
After months of silence, OJ finally spoke at the trial. His words to
Judge Ito were.. "I did not,
could not and would not have committed this crime.
Seems with a little help from Dr. Suess and a bit more time, he and
Judge Ito could have
extended this statement:
Ito's statements in ALL CAPS... OJ's in lower case.
DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME?
DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime
I could not, would not, anytime.
DID YOU LEAVE A POOL A BLOOD?
DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?
I did not leave a pool of blood.
I can not even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime
I could not, would not, anytime.
I do not like more...